So I'm on a date the other night and we're drinking bourbon in hot mulled cider -- it held my regard, my date however did not.
He talked a lot which helped because he didn't notice that I wasn't paying attention.
The bartenders laughed, I rolled my eyes, they engaged me with videos on their phones. I got drunk enough that I thought I was entertained.
We went for dinner after that. I paid.
After I'd dropped enough money and was ready to go home he kissed me, shoving his mustache hairs in my nose. It was early and I was bored so I decided I'd take him home to see how big his penis was.
I couldn't find it.
Sigh.
Never again.
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