Even after weeks of trying to make something truly special last, I find myself in the same vicious cycle. I don't ask for much. A call. A text. An email once in a blue moon. But in the end, I find that I put far more effort into things than the "truly special" party ever does.
Am I needy? Kinda.
I require attention. Although I've been claiming that it's my fatal flaw, I'm now thinking otherwise. If you like me, you would be calling me, texting me, and emailing me. Why waste someone's time, right?
I'm just saying, girls get hung up on the "he's not calling me", "he's not responding to my texts"......well guess what?....it's probably because he could care less.
Move on sweetheart.
Someone who truly "gets" you is out there. Someone who wants to be with you every hour of the day, loves your silly moments, anxiously awaits your calls, and can't help to laugh at your terrible jokes is out there. Searching for that person is a lost cause. Your paths will cross when it's the right time.
...but until then....life goes on.
(And Yes....that was entirely a pep-talk for myself...but I figured others could relate and needed to hear it.)
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
What What.....in the butt.....
I’ve got a best “dude” friend. We’ve never smooched. We’ve never been secretly in love with each other. We’ve just been good friends. Not exciting, right? Our major bond is tied to the fact that we’re both single and have outrageous dating stories. Horrible dating stories! On occasion I feel that our dialogue is sitcom worthy.
Dude (friend): You should date Bob.
Me: He's okay. I think he might be an alcoholic though.
Dude: I think he likes you.
Me: So make it happen.
Dude: Well...he did have too much to drink the other day and asked me if I wanted to come over to his place.
Me: .....to drink?
Dude: No! That was the thing! We got all the way over to his house and he goes 'Oh I don't have any alcohol'. So what the hell were we going to his house for?!
Me: He wanted to put it in your butt.
Dude: What?!
Me: Totally wanted to put it in your butt.
Dude: I mean....I guess he has some gay tendencies from time to time.
Me: Right up the butt.
Dude: He told me to sleep on his couch.
Me: I'm surprised he didn't tell you to get in his bed.
Dude: Stop it!
Me: Well...it looks like I'm never gonna allow you to fix me up with any of your friends from now on.
Dude: What? Why?
Me: Well if you don't have the gaydar to weed out the flames, then I'm just gonna end up in the same situation that I'm always in! You know the gays love me!
Dude: I guess you're right.
Me: I am. I'm always right. I'm Italian.
Dude: I hate you.
Me: I love you.
Dude: I love you too.
Me: I know.
Dude (friend): You should date Bob.
Me: He's okay. I think he might be an alcoholic though.
Dude: I think he likes you.
Me: So make it happen.
Dude: Well...he did have too much to drink the other day and asked me if I wanted to come over to his place.
Me: .....to drink?
Dude: No! That was the thing! We got all the way over to his house and he goes 'Oh I don't have any alcohol'. So what the hell were we going to his house for?!
Me: He wanted to put it in your butt.
Dude: What?!
Me: Totally wanted to put it in your butt.
Dude: I mean....I guess he has some gay tendencies from time to time.
Me: Right up the butt.
Dude: He told me to sleep on his couch.
Me: I'm surprised he didn't tell you to get in his bed.
Dude: Stop it!
Me: Well...it looks like I'm never gonna allow you to fix me up with any of your friends from now on.
Dude: What? Why?
Me: Well if you don't have the gaydar to weed out the flames, then I'm just gonna end up in the same situation that I'm always in! You know the gays love me!
Dude: I guess you're right.
Me: I am. I'm always right. I'm Italian.
Dude: I hate you.
Me: I love you.
Dude: I love you too.
Me: I know.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
it's my public service?
The boys I like, don't know how to dress themselves. The guys who can dress themselves, ultimately, I don't end up wanting to date. I'm not sure what one has to do with the other. Maybe it's that I gravitate towards dudes who work in IT?
Regardless, in every relationship I've ever had, I've taught the man how to dress well enough that the next lady he dates thinks he's stylish. Lucky them.
I should really just stop caring but how can I when they're leaving the house in blue button-up shirts, black docker style pants, and maroon striped sweaters that appear to be JCPenney circa 1998? The current boy, he has one nice shirt and one nice pair of jeans. It's a start I guess.
The cycle continues.
Regardless, in every relationship I've ever had, I've taught the man how to dress well enough that the next lady he dates thinks he's stylish. Lucky them.
I should really just stop caring but how can I when they're leaving the house in blue button-up shirts, black docker style pants, and maroon striped sweaters that appear to be JCPenney circa 1998? The current boy, he has one nice shirt and one nice pair of jeans. It's a start I guess.
The cycle continues.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
just walk away, now
A collaborative piece on "the signs."
We feel that there are some major warning signs on the road to love that must be taken into consideration before proceeding. Some seem completely obvious, yet we ignore them repeatedly and then there's the kind that go unnoticed until it's too late.
Everyone wants someone to snuggle. We long for that person who "gets it" to stroll into our lives. For some of us this search continues but after dating for a while we start to noticed trends, warning signs and small but glaring details that 'this probably isn't going to work out'.
High signs, red flags, flashing lights, call them what you will.
Between the two of us, we have quite a list (no particular order).
· Apparent/obvious baggage, often with conscious verbal cues
· Sex gets worse, not better
· Doesn't call when he says he will
· Doesn't answer phone calls
· Replies to texts or emails hours or days later
· Is all too willing to have unprotected sex
· Has never been in a long relationship (long = minimum 1 year)
· Last relationship was a ridiculously long time ago (ie. 8 years ago)
· Only contacts you after 11pm, on weekdays
· Only contacts you while intoxicated
· Is often intoxicated after 11pm on weekdays
· Makes plans with you in advance and then blows them off
· Maintains dreams of recording an album
· Refers to himself as a musician
· If he has a library of records, you know what he spends his money on
· Owns more shoes than you do
· Has strong opinions about his poorly decorated living room
· Most or all of his current downloads have names like 'cum guzzling sluts #76' or even worse they're named, 'mom and daughter gang bang'
He says things like:
· "why would you want to know how much money you spend?"
· "I don't need to save for retirement, I'm going to die before I'm 60"
· "I'm not a goal kind of guy, I like to live day to day"
· "You're going to buy that dress, don't you think it'll be a little tight?"
· Still, as an adult, he doesn't eat vegetables
· Doesn’t have hobbies
· Doesn’t have friends
· Doesn’t have a web-based email account
· Spends most of his paycheck on booze
· Rides his bike because he has a couple DUIs
· Only takes advice from his mother
· Bible banger
· Enjoys playing Dungeons and Dragons more than 5 times a year
· Asks you to join his Vampire LARP group
· Salesmen aka. the smoooooove talker
· Bike messenger (sure, they've got the gruff, sexy thing going but they're nothing but trouble)
· He mentions his "girlfriend" and then proceeds to give you his number
We feel that there are some major warning signs on the road to love that must be taken into consideration before proceeding. Some seem completely obvious, yet we ignore them repeatedly and then there's the kind that go unnoticed until it's too late.
Everyone wants someone to snuggle. We long for that person who "gets it" to stroll into our lives. For some of us this search continues but after dating for a while we start to noticed trends, warning signs and small but glaring details that 'this probably isn't going to work out'.
High signs, red flags, flashing lights, call them what you will.
Between the two of us, we have quite a list (no particular order).
· Apparent/obvious baggage, often with conscious verbal cues
· Sex gets worse, not better
· Doesn't call when he says he will
· Doesn't answer phone calls
· Replies to texts or emails hours or days later
· Is all too willing to have unprotected sex
· Has never been in a long relationship (long = minimum 1 year)
· Last relationship was a ridiculously long time ago (ie. 8 years ago)
· Only contacts you after 11pm, on weekdays
· Only contacts you while intoxicated
· Is often intoxicated after 11pm on weekdays
· Makes plans with you in advance and then blows them off
· Maintains dreams of recording an album
· Refers to himself as a musician
· If he has a library of records, you know what he spends his money on
· Owns more shoes than you do
· Has strong opinions about his poorly decorated living room
· Most or all of his current downloads have names like 'cum guzzling sluts #76' or even worse they're named, 'mom and daughter gang bang'
He says things like:
· "why would you want to know how much money you spend?"
· "I don't need to save for retirement, I'm going to die before I'm 60"
· "I'm not a goal kind of guy, I like to live day to day"
· "You're going to buy that dress, don't you think it'll be a little tight?"
· Still, as an adult, he doesn't eat vegetables
· Doesn’t have hobbies
· Doesn’t have friends
· Doesn’t have a web-based email account
· Spends most of his paycheck on booze
· Rides his bike because he has a couple DUIs
· Only takes advice from his mother
· Bible banger
· Enjoys playing Dungeons and Dragons more than 5 times a year
· Asks you to join his Vampire LARP group
· Salesmen aka. the smoooooove talker
· Bike messenger (sure, they've got the gruff, sexy thing going but they're nothing but trouble)
· He mentions his "girlfriend" and then proceeds to give you his number
Monday, April 19, 2010
Job Post
I'm attempting to make a profitable career out of my talented skill of making almost every guy I ever meet turn, instantly, into an asshole. If you know anyone who may be in need of my assistance, please forward me their contact info. Student discounts are available.
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